I play Pickleball (a fun combination of tennis, badminton, and ping pong) each week with a group of women. I was playing recently and my friend grew frustrated with how she was serving. With each miss, she berated herself more harshly. “It’s not that hard, just get it in bounds.” “You’ve been playing for years; how can you keep making this mistake?” As a result her serving woes grew worse and she started to miss other shots that she would easily make otherwise. It seemed like the more judgmental and harsh she was with herself, the more difficult it was to enjoy the game and improve. This also seems to be true in life. We think that if we are harsh with ourselves in areas where we want to grow it will motivate us to do better. It tends to have the opposite effect. Even in areas of desired growth, being kind to ourselves and not taking ourselves too seriously can motivate us to make shifts – when harshness does not. And we can actually enjoy the process along the way, which keeps us moving forward in our growth.